Florida Man Ron DeSantis, the self-proclaimed "Sunshine State Savior," has returned from his ill-fated presidential campaign trail, only to discover that he has completely forgotten how to govern. It seems that the allure of national politics has clouded his ability to effectively run his own state.
Upon his return, DeSantis was seen wandering the halls of the Florida Capitol, desperately searching for his office. Witnesses reported that he was muttering to himself, "I used to be in charge here, right?" It appears that the once confident governor has lost all sense of direction.
One of the most glaring signs of DeSantis' gubernatorial amnesia is his sudden inability to make coherent decisions. He now spends hours debating the pros and cons of mundane issues such as whether or not to replace the office coffee machine. Meanwhile, important matters like education reform and environmental protection are left unattended.
Furthermore, DeSantis has developed a peculiar habit of signing bills without even reading them. It's as if he believes that his mere signature will magically solve all of Florida's problems. Unfortunately, this approach has led to some disastrous consequences. One bill he unknowingly signed declared every Tuesday to be "National Ice Cream Day," causing chaos in the state's dairy industry.
Perhaps the most concerning aspect of DeSantis' post-campaign return is his newfound obsession with photo ops. He can often be found posing with random objects, such as a giant inflatable alligator or a stack of pancakes. It seems that the governor is more interested in capturing the perfect Instagram moment than actually governing the state.
Even his staff members are at a loss for how to handle this new version of DeSantis. They have resorted to leaving sticky notes around the office, reminding him of his duties and responsibilities. One note simply reads, "Remember, you're the governor!"
As the days go by, it becomes increasingly clear that Florida Man Ron DeSantis may never regain his ability to govern. Perhaps his presidential ambitions were simply too much for him to handle. Whatever the case may be, one thing is for certain: Florida is in desperate need of a leader who can actually remember how to govern.
