In a stunning display of astronomical ignorance, a local man recently mistook a Russian nuclear weapon in space for a shooting star and decided to make a wish upon it. Witnesses say that John Smith, a self-proclaimed amateur astronomer, was stargazing in his backyard when he spotted a bright object streaking across the night sky.
Unbeknownst to Smith, what he was actually witnessing was the reentry of a Russian nuclear weapon that had been launched into space as part of a top-secret military experiment. While most people would have been alarmed by such a sight, Smith apparently saw it as an opportunity to make a wish.
With childlike wonder, Smith closed his eyes, clasped his hands together, and whispered his deepest desire to the heavens above. Little did he know that his wish was being sent to a weapon capable of mass destruction, rather than a benevolent shooting star.
Smith's wish, which he later revealed to be "I wish for a lifetime supply of pizza," was met with a resounding silence from the cosmos. Unbeknownst to him, his wish had fallen on deaf ears, or rather, on the ears of Russian military officials who were monitoring the weapon's trajectory.
When confronted with the truth about his celestial blunder, Smith was initially shocked but quickly regained his composure. "Well, I guess that explains why my wish didn't come true," he chuckled. "I always did have terrible luck."
While Smith's mistake may seem comical in hindsight, it serves as a stark reminder of the importance of basic astronomical knowledge. Mistaking a nuclear weapon for a shooting star is not only foolish but also potentially dangerous.
Local authorities have since urged residents to familiarize themselves with the night sky and to refrain from making wishes upon unknown objects. "It's always better to be safe than sorry," said the local police chief. "If you see something strange in the sky, it's best to leave the wishing to shooting stars and keep your feet planted firmly on the ground."
As for Smith, he has vowed to enroll in an astronomy course to prevent any future mishaps. "I've learned my lesson," he said. "From now on, I'll leave the wishes to shooting stars and the military experiments to the professionals."
