Man Who Claims to Be Too Loud Arrested for Murdering Neighbor's Eardrums

In a shocking turn of events, a man who has long claimed to be "too loud for his own good" has been arrested for the heinous crime of murdering his neighbor's eardrums. The accused, known for his boisterous voice and inability to control his volume, allegedly took his noise-making abilities to a whole new level, resulting in the untimely demise of his neighbor's delicate auditory organs.

Neighbors had long complained about the suspect's incessant noise pollution, with some even resorting to wearing earplugs and noise-canceling headphones just to get a moment's peace. But no one could have predicted that his vocal prowess would escalate to such a deadly level.

Witnesses claim that on the fateful day of the incident, the accused was engaged in a heated argument with his neighbor over a trivial matter. As tensions rose, so did the volume of his voice, reaching ear-splitting levels that could rival a jet engine. The unfortunate neighbor, unable to withstand the sonic assault, collapsed to the ground clutching their ears in agony.

Authorities were called to the scene, where they found the accused still bellowing at the top of his lungs, seemingly oblivious to the chaos he had caused. After a brief struggle, the suspect was apprehended and taken into custody.

Experts in noise pollution have expressed their astonishment at the extreme nature of this case. "While we have seen our fair share of noisy individuals, this is the first time we've encountered someone who could literally kill with their voice," said Dr. Decibel, a renowned noise specialist.

The accused's defense attorney plans to argue that his client's vocal cords should be considered a lethal weapon, therefore justifying a lesser charge of manslaughter. However, legal experts are skeptical about the success of this defense, pointing out that the suspect's lack of control over his volume could be seen as a reckless disregard for human life.

Meanwhile, the community has been left in shock and disbelief. "We always knew he was loud, but we never imagined he could be a murderer," said one neighbor, who wished to remain anonymous. "I guess we should have taken his claims of being 'too loud for his own good' more seriously."

As the trial looms ahead, one thing is for certain: this case will forever serve as a cautionary tale for those who refuse to use their indoor voices. It's a stark reminder that sometimes, the volume of our words can have consequences far greater than we could ever imagine.