Magical transformation for Americans!
In a move that stunned the nation, Kevin McCarthy announced that the debt ceiling deal would not only save the country from financial ruin but also magically transform every American into a beautiful, majestic unicorn. "This deal is transformative," McCarthy said in a press conference on Monday. "We're not just talking about raising the debt ceiling, we're talking about a complete metamorphosis of the American people." According to anonymous sources close to McCarthy, the transformation will begin on October 1st. At the stroke of midnight, every American will start to feel a tingling sensation in their toes, which will slowly travel up their bodies until they are enveloped in a bright, shimmering light. When the light fades, they will be a unicorn. This news has been met with mixed reactions from the public. Some are excited to finally be free from the mundane human existence, while others are skeptical. One Twitter user wrote, "I'll believe it when I see it." Despite the skepticism, McCarthy remains confident that this deal will go down in history as one of the greatest achievements of the American government. "We're making history here, folks," he said. "And who doesn't want to be a unicorn?"
