It seems that former President Donald Trump has once again found himself in the midst of a fantastical battle against otherworldly creatures. In a recent press conference, Trump made the shocking claim that the charges against him for inciting the January 6th Capitol riot were actually the result of an "alien invasion." But that's not all - he also revealed that he has been fighting off hordes of Nazi zombies in his spare time.
According to Trump, the aliens are responsible for brainwashing his supporters and convincing them to storm the Capitol in a misguided attempt to overturn the election results. "These extraterrestrial beings are the real culprits behind the chaos on January 6th," Trump declared with a straight face. "They have mind control technology that can make people do crazy things, like wear Viking helmets and smear feces on the walls of the Capitol building."
While many were left scratching their heads at this bizarre explanation, Trump was quick to assure his followers that he was taking matters into his own hands. "I've been leading a secret task force to fight off these Nazi zombies that the aliens have unleashed," he proclaimed proudly. "Believe me, nobody fights Nazi zombies better than me. Nobody."
It's unclear where exactly Trump encountered these Nazi zombies or how he became an expert in combating them, but his confidence was unwavering. "I've watched all the movies, folks. I know exactly how to defeat these undead fascists," he boasted. "I've got a team of highly trained zombie hunters, and together, we're making America safe from the walking dead."
While some may dismiss Trump's claims as the ramblings of a man desperate to deflect blame, his supporters were quick to rally behind him. "Of course it was an alien invasion! It all makes sense now," one supporter exclaimed. "And I always knew Trump was a hero. Who else could single-handedly take on Nazi zombies and still have time to make America great again?"
As the legal battle surrounding the January 6th charges continues, it remains to be seen whether Trump's outlandish claims will hold any weight in a court of law. But one thing is for certain - the former president has once again managed to captivate the nation with his wild tales of intergalactic warfare and undead adversaries.
So, as we await the next chapter in this extraordinary saga, let us not forget the important lesson Trump has taught us: when faced with allegations of inciting a riot, it's always best to blame an alien invasion and Nazi zombies. After all, truth is often stranger than fiction.
