In a shocking turn of events, former advisers to Donald Trump have been charged with an outrageous scheme to teach monkeys to vote in the state of Georgia. This bizarre endeavor has left many scratching their heads and wondering just how far these individuals are willing to go to undermine the democratic process.
It seems that these former advisers, unable to accept the outcome of the 2020 election, have resorted to desperate measures in an attempt to regain power. Rather than accepting defeat gracefully, they have decided to enlist the help of our primate friends to sway the results in their favor.
According to sources close to the investigation, the plan involved training monkeys to mimic the actions of human voters. These specially trained monkeys were allegedly taught to pull levers, mark ballots, and even make informed decisions based on policy positions. It's unclear whether the monkeys were also taught to throw their own feces at opposing candidates, but nothing would be surprising at this point.
One can only imagine the chaos that would have ensued if this plan had been successful. Picture polling stations filled with monkeys, swinging from the chandeliers, and flinging ballots in every direction. The sight alone would have been enough to make any election official question their career choices.
Of course, the idea of monkeys voting raises a myriad of questions. Would they have been required to show identification? Would they have been eligible for mail-in ballots? And most importantly, would they have been able to resist the temptation to eat the voting machines?
It's worth noting that this is not the first time that animals have been involved in political shenanigans. In fact, rumors have circulated for years about politicians being trained to act like monkeys. But this is the first time we've seen the reverse: monkeys being trained to act like politicians.
As news of this absurd plot spread, social media erupted with a mix of outrage and amusement. Memes featuring monkeys in suits and ties flooded timelines, with captions like "Monkey Business in Georgia" and "The GOP's New Voter Base."
While the former advisers to Trump may have thought they were being clever, their plan ultimately backfired. The monkeys, it turns out, were more interested in eating bananas than participating in the democratic process. Who could blame them?
As the investigation continues, one can only hope that this incident serves as a reminder of the importance of respecting the democratic process. Let's leave the voting to the humans and the monkey business to the monkeys.
