In a shocking turn of events, Melvin McFluffernutter, a self-proclaimed vegetable hater and junk food enthusiast, has declared war on broccoli and other vegetables. In a press conference held in his mom's basement, McFluffernutter promised to make vegetables great again by launching a "massive" nationwide salad attack.
McFluffernutter, known for his love of greasy burgers and sugary snacks, has long been a vocal critic of healthy eating. He once famously declared that broccoli was "the devil's food" and that anyone who enjoyed it was "clearly insane."
His plan to launch a salad attack involves recruiting an army of junk food enthusiasts to storm salad bars across the country, replacing leafy greens with bacon bits and cheese. McFluffernutter believes that by sabotaging salads, he can rid the world of the dreaded vegetable scourge once and for all.
When asked about the potential health consequences of his actions, McFluffernutter brushed off concerns, stating that "a little extra cholesterol never hurt anyone." He also revealed plans to introduce a new line of deep-fried broccoli, promising that it would be "the only way to make that green stuff edible."
As news of McFluffernutter's salad attack spreads, vegetable lovers everywhere are bracing themselves for a showdown. Will broccoli emerge victorious, or will junk food reign supreme? Only time will tell in this bizarre battle of the greens.
