In a stunning turn of events, the Supreme Court and President Bidet have joined forces to take aim at the hallowed tradition of legacy admissions. Yes, you heard that right - the practice of admitting students based on their family connections is finally under scrutiny. It seems like the days of Aunt Mildred's cousin's nephew getting into Harvard just because his great-great-grandfather donated a library are numbered. And boy, are the elite shaking in their designer boots!
For those unfamiliar with legacy admissions, it's a system that allows universities to give preferential treatment to applicants who have family ties to the institution. It's like having a VIP pass to the most exclusive club in town, except the club is an Ivy League school and the bouncer is your great-grandfather.
But fear not, dear legacy applicants, for the Supreme Court and President Bidet are here to save the day! They have decided that it's time to level the playing field and give everyone an equal shot at getting into their dream schools. Because who needs family connections when you can rely on good old-fashioned hard work and merit?
Of course, the defenders of legacy admissions are up in arms. They argue that it's a way to maintain tradition and ensure a sense of continuity within these prestigious institutions. After all, what's a Harvard reunion without the third-generation Kennedys and Rockefellers rubbing shoulders with the common folk?
But let's be real here - legacy admissions are nothing more than a way for the rich and powerful to perpetuate their privilege. It's like a never-ending game of Monopoly, where the elite keep passing "Go" and collecting $200 while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet. It's time to flip the board and start a new game, one where everyone has a fair chance to succeed.
And let's not forget the hilarious irony of the situation. The very institutions that have been preaching about diversity and inclusion are the ones that have been perpetuating this system of nepotism and favoritism. It's like a wolf in sheep's clothing, except the wolf is wearing a Harvard sweatshirt and quoting Shakespeare.
So, kudos to the Supreme Court and President Bidet for taking a stand against legacy admissions. It's about time we put an end to this archaic practice and create a more equitable education system. Who knows, maybe someday we'll live in a world where getting into college is based on your abilities, not your ancestors' bank accounts. Until then, let's grab some popcorn and enjoy the show as the elite scramble to find a new way to secure their precious spots at the top.
