In a stunning turn of events, former President Donald Trump has declared himself the Supreme Ruler of the Republican Party and announced his plans to build a wall around the state of Iowa. Yes, you read that right - Iowa, the land of cornfields and caucuses, is apparently the biggest threat to Trump's political ambitions.
According to sources close to Trump, he believes that Iowa is a hotbed of competition within the GOP and must be isolated from the rest of the country to protect his position as the party's leader. The wall, which Trump claims will be "big and beautiful," is expected to be made entirely of corn husks and will stretch for hundreds of miles.
Of course, the decision to build a wall around Iowa has left many scratching their heads. After all, Iowa is hardly known for its political power or influence. In fact, most Americans probably couldn't even point it out on a map. But Trump, never one to shy away from a grandiose gesture, seems convinced that this is the best way to secure his dominance over the GOP.
As news of Trump's plan spread, reactions from both Republicans and Democrats poured in. Some Republicans, eager to please their Supreme Ruler, praised the idea as a brilliant move to protect the party from any potential challengers. Others, however, were less enthusiastic.
"Iowa is a lovely state with lovely people," said one Republican senator, trying to hide his laughter. "I'm not sure why we need to build a wall around it. Maybe Trump is just trying to keep the corn all to himself."
Democrats, on the other hand, couldn't help but see the humor in Trump's latest declaration. "First a wall on the southern border, now a wall around Iowa. What's next? A moat around Mar-a-Lago?" joked one Democratic strategist.
As for the people of Iowa, many are simply confused by the whole situation. "I mean, I guess it's nice to be noticed," said one Iowan, scratching his head. "But I'm not sure why Trump thinks we're such a threat. We're just here growing corn and minding our own business."
While it remains to be seen whether Trump will actually follow through with his plan, one thing is for certain - he certainly knows how to keep us entertained. Whether it's declaring himself the Supreme Ruler of the GOP or proposing outlandish walls, Trump's antics continue to provide endless fodder for late-night comedians and political pundits alike.
So, buckle up, folks. It looks like the Trump show is far from over. Who knows what he'll come up with next? Maybe a wall around his Twitter account to keep his tweets from escaping into the world? The possibilities are endless.
