Trump Holds Tele-Rallies from Igloo, Claims Extreme Cold Boosts His Poll Numbers

As if the year 2020 couldn't get any more bizarre, President Donald Trump has taken his campaign to new icy heights by holding tele-rallies from the comfort of his very own igloo. Yes, you read that right - an igloo. In a shocking turn of events, Trump claims that the extreme cold temperatures are actually boosting his poll numbers. Who knew that frostbite could be so politically advantageous?

It all started when Trump, in an attempt to appeal to his base, decided to embrace the winter wonderland that is the Arctic. With a polar bear as his campaign manager and penguins as his loyal supporters, Trump set up camp in a luxurious igloo, complete with gold-plated ice sculptures and a red carpet made of frozen tundra.

During his tele-rallies, Trump can be seen bundled up in a fur coat, fur hat, and fur boots, all while sipping on a steaming hot cup of covfefe. He passionately delivers his speeches, with each breath turning into a visible cloud of frozen hot air. It's a sight to behold, really.

But what's even more surprising is Trump's claim that the extreme cold is somehow responsible for his rising poll numbers. According to him, the frigid temperatures have a magical effect on his supporters, freezing their doubts and turning them into unwavering believers.

Trump's theory is backed by his team of "alternative" scientists who argue that the cold weather slows down brain activity, making people more susceptible to his persuasive rhetoric. They even suggest that Trump should consider hosting a rally on the moon, where the lack of oxygen would surely skyrocket his approval ratings.

Of course, not everyone is convinced by Trump's freezing campaign strategy. Critics argue that his tele-rallies are nothing more than a desperate attempt to distract from the real issues at hand. They point out that while Trump is busy building walls of ice, the country is facing a pandemic, economic crisis, and a host of other pressing concerns.

But Trump remains undeterred, convinced that his icy escapades will secure him another term in office. He plans to expand his tele-rallies to other chilly locations, including the top of Mount Everest and the depths of the Mariana Trench. After all, why limit himself to just one frozen backdrop when there's a whole world of frosty possibilities?

So, the next time you hear about Trump holding a tele-rally from an igloo, don't be too surprised. In this era of alternative facts and unconventional politics, anything is possible. Who knows, maybe the extreme cold really does have some magical power over his poll numbers. Or maybe, just maybe, it's all just a chillingly hilarious joke.