As the debate over affirmative action in college admissions rages on, one college admissions officer has come up with a truly innovative solution to ensure racial diversity on campus. Meet Bob, the college admissions officer who uses a magic 8-ball to determine diversity. Yes, you read that right. Bob, armed with his trusty magic 8-ball, is single-handedly revolutionizing the way colleges seek racial diversity.
Bob's method is simple yet ingenious. Instead of relying on outdated and controversial affirmative action policies, Bob turns to the mystical powers of the magic 8-ball to make his decisions. With a shake and a turn, Bob seeks the guidance of the 8-ball to determine which applicants will bring the most diversity to the college.
Of course, some skeptics may question the reliability of Bob's method. How can a plastic ball filled with liquid and floating dice accurately determine racial diversity? But Bob is quick to defend his unconventional approach.
"Look, the magic 8-ball has been around for decades, and people have relied on it for all sorts of decisions," Bob explains. "Why not use it to solve the diversity problem? It's as good a method as any other."
Bob's colleagues, however, are not entirely convinced. Some worry that Bob's reliance on a magic 8-ball may undermine the credibility of the admissions process. Others argue that it is simply not fair to base such important decisions on the whims of a plastic toy.
But Bob remains undeterred. He firmly believes that the magic 8-ball is the key to achieving true diversity on campus. "The 8-ball never lies," he insists. "It's a foolproof way to ensure that every race and ethnicity is represented in our student body."
Bob has even taken his method a step further by incorporating other mystical tools into the admissions process. Tarot cards, crystal balls, and even palm readings now play a role in determining diversity at the college. Bob is confident that his holistic approach will revolutionize the way colleges seek racial diversity.
Some may argue that Bob's reliance on magic is a step backward in the fight for equality. But Bob sees it differently. "We live in a world where people believe in astrology, horoscopes, and all sorts of supernatural phenomena," he says. "Why not use that to our advantage? If it brings diversity, why should we question it?"
So, the next time you apply to college, don't be surprised if you receive an acceptance letter signed by Bob, the college admissions officer who uses a magic 8-ball to determine diversity. After all, in the quest for racial diversity, sometimes a little magic is just what we need.
