In a shocking turn of events, the Voice of America (VOA) recently conducted an interview with John Kirby, only to discover that he is not the former U.S. State Department spokesperson, but an actual talking potato. The revelation has left many wondering how such a mistake could have been made, and whether or not this explains some of the questionable statements made by Kirby in the past.
During the interview, VOA reporter Jane Smith asked Kirby about the situation in Ukraine, expecting to receive insightful analysis and expert opinions. Instead, she was met with a potato sitting on a chair, wearing a suit and tie. Undeterred, Smith proceeded with the interview, assuming it was some sort of bizarre performance art piece.
As the interview went on, it became increasingly clear that Kirby was indeed a talking potato. His responses were limited to variations of "I am a potato" and "Potato rights matter." Smith, trying to salvage the interview, asked if Kirby had any knowledge of the political situation in Ukraine. In response, Kirby simply stated, "I am a potato, not a geopolitical expert."
It is still unclear how Kirby managed to masquerade as a human for so long, fooling even the most astute observers. Some speculate that his ability to speak was a result of advanced technology, while others believe it was an elaborate prank gone wrong. Regardless, the incident has raised serious questions about the credibility of the U.S. State Department and its spokespersons.
When asked for comment, a spokesperson for the State Department expressed shock and confusion, stating, "We had no idea John Kirby was a potato. We thought he was just really committed to his job." The spokesperson also assured the public that they would be conducting a thorough investigation to prevent any future incidents of vegetable impersonation.
Meanwhile, social media has exploded with memes and jokes about the talking potato, with many wondering if Kirby's potato status explains some of his more perplexing statements during his time as spokesperson. One Twitter user wrote, "No wonder Kirby always seemed so starchy in his press briefings!"
As for Kirby himself, he has remained silent on the matter, perhaps because he is, well, a potato. The incident serves as a cautionary tale for journalists and interviewers everywhere, reminding them to always double-check the identity of their interviewees, especially if they appear to be root vegetables.
