In a bizarre turn of events, dozens of Russian President Vladimir Putin's doppelgangers have been reportedly killed by militant African pupils linked to the Islamic State's supposed Ukraine peace plan. According to sources close to the matter, the pupils were armed with nothing more than textbooks and pencils, yet managed to take down the Putins one by one.
The supposed Ukraine peace plan, which was allegedly concocted by the Islamic State in collaboration with the African pupils, involved eliminating all of Putin's lookalikes in order to destabilize the Russian government. The plan seems to have worked, as reports indicate that Putin is now frantically searching for a new set of doubles to replace those that were lost.
"Who knew that a bunch of school kids armed with nothing but their wits and a few sharpened pencils could take down a powerful world leader?" remarked one political analyst. "It just goes to show that anything is possible in this crazy world of ours."
The African pupils responsible for the Putin killings have reportedly gone into hiding, but not before issuing a statement claiming responsibility for the attack. "We did this to send a message to the world that we will not stand idly by while powerful nations bully weaker ones," the statement read.
The Russian government has yet to issue an official response to the killings, but sources say that Putin is furious and has vowed to take revenge on the perpetrators. "This is an act of war, and we will not rest until those responsible are brought to justice," he reportedly said in a closed-door meeting.
Meanwhile, the rest of the world is left scratching their heads and wondering how a group of African pupils managed to pull off such a feat. Some are even speculating that the entire incident was staged as part of a larger geopolitical conspiracy. But for now, the only thing that is certain is that dozens of Putins are dead, and the world is a slightly weirder place because of it.
