In a shocking turn of events, the FBI under the leadership of Christopher Wray has launched an investigation into the recent plane crash in Virginia, which was allegedly caused by a sonic boom created by Joe Biden's private plane. The incident has sparked widespread panic and conspiracy theories, with some claiming that it was an attempt to silence the former vice president's political opponents.
Meanwhile, Congress has decided to hold a contempt hearing on LiveNOW from FOX, because why not? The hearing will be led by a panel of esteemed politicians who have nothing better to do than to waste taxpayer money on frivolous investigations and grandstanding.
The hearing is expected to be a real nail-biter, with members of Congress grilling witnesses about the plane crash and demanding answers from the FBI. Of course, none of them actually know anything about aviation or sonic booms, but that won't stop them from pretending to be experts and bloviating on national television.
In a statement released to the press, Christopher Wray said that the FBI is taking the incident very seriously and is committed to getting to the bottom of what happened. He also hinted that there may be some foul play involved, but refused to elaborate further.
Meanwhile, Joe Biden has been spotted at a local ice cream parlor, enjoying a double scoop of chocolate chip with sprinkles. When asked about the plane crash, he simply shrugged and said, "I don't know what they're talking about. I was just trying to get to my granddaughter's dance recital."
As the investigation continues and Congress wastes more time and money on pointless hearings, one thing is clear: the American people deserve better than this. We deserve politicians who actually care about the issues that matter, instead of using them as a way to score political points and advance their own careers. Hopefully, someday we'll get them, but for now, we're stuck with the likes of Christopher Wray and the members of Congress who are holding this ridiculous hearing. God help us all.
