In a surprising turn of events, a man who looks eerily similar to the infamous Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski, has been indicted for a political hit job. The man, whose identity has not been revealed, was caught on camera sneaking into a government building with a package labeled "To: Enemy of the State, From: Your Worst Nightmare."
Authorities were able to track down the suspect thanks to a trail of breadcrumbs he left behind. Literally. The man apparently had a habit of snacking on bread as he made his way to his target, leaving a trail of crumbs behind him.
When asked about the incident, President Trump brushed it off, saying, "Look, I don't know this guy. I've never met him. And even if I did, I wouldn't remember him. I meet a lot of people, folks. A lot of people."
Meanwhile, Trump's aide, who has been by his side throughout the campaign, has been busy hitting the trail with the president. The aide, who is rumored to be a distant cousin of Trump's, has been described as "loyal, trustworthy, and completely devoid of any discernible personality."
When asked about the aide's qualifications, Trump responded, "Look, this guy knows me better than anyone. He knows what I like, what I don't like. He's like a mind reader, folks. A mind reader."
As for the Unabomber-lookalike, he is currently being held in custody and is expected to plead insanity. In a statement released by his lawyer, the suspect claimed that he was simply trying to deliver a package of gluten-free bread to a friend in the building and got lost along the way.
Only time will tell what will come of this bizarre turn of events, but one thing is for sure: it's going to make for some great material for late-night talk show hosts.
