Washington D.C. - In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trumpolini, infamous for his reality TV career and brief stint as leader of the free world, has reportedly come back from the dead at the age of 86 to face charges in the infamous PizzaGate scandal.
For those unfamiliar with the PizzaGate conspiracy theory, it involves a supposed child sex trafficking ring operating out of a Washington D.C. pizza restaurant. Despite being thoroughly debunked, the theory gained traction among Trump supporters during the 2016 presidential election, with some even going so far as to storm the restaurant with guns.
While it remains unclear how Trumpolini managed to resurrect himself, sources close to the former president say he has been preparing for this moment for years. "He always said he wanted to go out with a bang," said one insider. "I guess this is what he meant."
Many are skeptical of the claims, however, with some suggesting that Trumpolini's resurrection is nothing more than a publicity stunt. "This is just another attempt to stay relevant," said political commentator Rachel Maddow. "I mean, the guy was already a reality star. Now he's a reality star zombie."
Regardless of the truth behind Trumpolini's resurrection, the charges he faces are no laughing matter. If convicted, he could be sentenced to life in prison for his alleged involvement in the PizzaGate scandal.
But for now, the world can only wait and see what the former reality star leader has in store for us next. Will he be found guilty and sent back to the grave? Or will he somehow manage to evade justice once again? Only time will tell.
